Reflections

First of all it has to be said that this was an absolutely fantastic experience.  To support the person you love in achieving their goal, whatever that might be, feels like giving them a wonderful gift.  To share an endeavour of that magnitude is a powerfully cohesive experience, and the pride I felt in Sean’s achievement was at times overwhelming.  But in many ways the experience was nothing like I had anticipated.

I had been concerned about a number of things which completely didn’t happen.  Whenever you watch a TV programme about someone who attempts some kind of endurance feat, there are always dark days where they don’t want to carry on.  I thought this might happen and I wasn’t sure how I would motivate Sean when that happened.  But it didn’t – he was motivated all the way through and although there were some tough times, it was consistently the experience he wanted it to be.  I was also quite worried about the prospect of saddle sores.  I knew he was fit and physically up to the challenge, but saddle sores aren’t something you can protect against through training, and if they occurred it would have been a serious problem.  In the undercarriage department, though, things were fine.  I also can’t believe he rode for TEN DAYS without a single puncture, when there have been days he’s been out training for a few hours and had more than one.

As for me, I did have concerns about how I would cope.  Although I am very self sufficient, I don’t deal well with drudgery and I did worry that I’d start to resent the endless driving, checking in, lugging suitcases around, packing up again…. you get the picture.  I will admit that I didn’t enjoy that element of the trip but I didn’t find myself resenting it as I had feared I would.  I was also very worried that I would start to get fatigued, which would lead to irritability and a diminished ability to deal with the whole situation.  I don’t sleep well at the best of times, especially in unfamiliar surroundings, and driving was going to be tiring as it still requires me to concentrate hard 100% of the time.  I didn’t sleep well for the first few nights but once I got into the swing of things, unfamiliarity became the new familiarity and I slept very well which helped me a lot.  I did get tired from time to time but I was careful to rest when I needed to and not put pressure on myself to do too much.

Routine was important for both of us and getting into a routine very early on in the trip I think helped with all of the above.  Small things like taking the cases out to the car before breakfast, having an avocado for a snack every afternoon just like I do at home, and bringing my favourite tea so I could have a cup at breakfast time, all make a big difference.  I usually get homesick when I’m away, but on this occasion I didn’t, and I’m sure those factors were a big contributor.

So having said a lot of things we worried about didn’t happen, there was also something we didn’t expect or plan for – not wanting it to stop.  Neither of us expected to feel that way on the penultimate day.  We both thought there would be a sense of jubilation and a rush to the finish line.  But when the moment came, we just wanted to carry on.

I also didn’t anticipate the comedown afterwards, which was kind of cataclysmic.  After achieving a challenge that epic, and having an experience that generated so many positive emotions, there really is no way to go but down.  We both struggled, but particularly me, to get back into the swing of being at work and taking part in our normal daily activities.  There were some very unexpected feelings of loss and profound sadness  which I found easier to deal with when a friend described the experience as being like a bereavement.  I think this is the only thing I would have done differently, in that I would have allowed myself a bit of slack and not beat myself up for not being on cloud nine for the weeks afterwards.

Would I do it again?  I’m not sure.  It was an amazing experience, and one of almost unadulterated positivity.  If we attempted something similar there would be a risk we’d be chasing that same feeling, which would by definition prevent us from catching it.  Having said that, if I could set this aside and approach a new challenge with the same open hearted enthusiasm as I did with LEJOG, who knows…